The Proust Questionnaire
The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A contemporary private compound on a secluded tropical island with Internet access, power and running water, and a high-end grocery store.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That harm, suffering and despair will come to my loved ones.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Arrogance coupled to a certain amount of cynicism.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Evil.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
Probably my grandfather - who was a federal law enforcement agent - the kindest, most devoted, most caring, most fair man you could imagine.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Overpriced gourmet food.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Slightly depressed over a couple of minor personal dramas, and I'm fairly pessimistic about a few trends I see in the world. Starting to see the light again.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
"Open-mindedness," at least to the point where pure devotion to a misguided, distorted definition of "open-mindedness" leads to nothing more than postmodern deconstructionism, cowardly non-commitment and rampant irrationality. At some point, people need to be comfortable with the idea that forming an opinion and coming to a conclusion are not negative activities. But of course the keyword here is "overrated," which does not at all suggest that a virtue should not be highly rated, and a certain degree of open-mindedness is admirable - at least a willingness to listen to reason and to alter views accordingly. But I'm sick of people telling others to be open-minded about stuff they've heard a thousand times before, or when they themselves are not as "open-minded" about opposing views as they expect others to be of their own. The term is often misused to mean, to some, "lack of resistance to being converted to my particular point of view."
9. On what occasion do you lie?
I'd rather be vague or evasive rather than lie, but usually I attempt to only distort the truth to make someone feel better about themselves, or to avoid causing unnecessary emotional pain.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I could lose a few more pounds, although I have lost a little weight in recent months. Still some more to go. My hair sucks, so I cut it off.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Only one? I'll just go with the one with the most power and influence right now: Barack Obama. Moronic totalitarian scumbag. Prick. I take great pride in despising Obama long before he was on a lot of other people's radars.
But, really, there are lot of politicians and pundits that would make this list (like Oprah, Michelle Obama, Michael Pollan, etc. - hee hee). I'd feel amiss not mentioning fascist whores like Boxer, Pelosi or Feinstein - may they rot in Hell for all eternity when the black holes where their hearts should be finally collapse - and there are certainly people from the other side of the aisle I have problems with as well.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Friendliness, and all that it entails.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
"Friendliness" (wink wink nudge nudge)
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Actually
Douchebag
Can I have a waffle?
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The Detective
16. When and where were you happiest?
It was relaxing on beach on Oahu where I may have actually achieved a state of nirvana for a short bit.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Teleportation, but I'd settle for stretchy powers like Mr. Fantastic and Plastic Man.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'd like to be a bit more tolerant and understanding of other peoples' stupidity, erroneousness and irrationality.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I think being an overall good, rational, compassionate person.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I'd pick "a person." Who wants to be a non-self-aware "thing"?
Oh, which person? Maybe Penn Gillette. Which is a funny thing to pop into my head, because I don't think he's all that attractive, and magic usually creeps me out. But I like the way his brain works. I'm keeping this answer because it was spontaneous and weird.
I'd really like Anthony Bourdain's current job too.
21. Where would you most like to live?
Maui
Manhattan
Hong Kong
Thailand
(from what I gather, maybe Italy - if just for the food)
22. What is your most treasured possession?
I don't know that I treasure any one object more than any other. I treasure my music collection, both real and virtual. And rarely is my iPhone not in my possession - although I could easily replace it without nostalgic regret. It's the "access" it provides that I treasure more than the device itself.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Violent tyranny.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Policewoman
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
My blue eyes, I think. If I ever get a physical compliment, which is rarer than steak you get in France, that's usually what it's about.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Empathy - or I suppose just a genuine interest, caring and concern for friends.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Oh, I hate to be limited in this regard - lets say a few that pop to mind: Sherwood Anderson, Philip K. Dick, JRR Tolkien. I was kind of fanatical about Ezra Pound in college.
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Captain America. I'm picking a "heroic ideal" here.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Since history tends to focus on Presidents and Kings, I'm going to take this as "identify with politically/philosophically" and say, in broad terms, Thomas Jefferson. I probably don't know the biography of any historical figure well enough to say I identify with anyone in terms of personality or behavior or something other than vague ideals. And since history is filled with actual people, I could probably find something to with which I disagree with any person, alive or dead. I don't really agree with Jefferson on the whole slave ownership thing, for instance.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
Those that put their lives on the line, everyday, like firemen, soldiers and police officers, for the greater good, to protect freedom, society and communities, yet are often under-appreciated or actually vilified for their bravery and commitment to protecting us all.
31. What are your favorite names?
F: Grace, Jacqueline, Shanti, Leilani
M: Jacob, Krishna, Xavier, Ziggy
32. What is it that you most dislike?
The notion of diffused, indirect responsibility; the idea that personal freedom and individual liberty should be limited for the sake of some misguided, dehumanizing, ineffective, oppressive collectivism. The twisted lie that proposes that one must accept bloated bureaucracies and the forced theft and redistribution of income as "assistance" or "compassion" to be seen as a humanitarian.
33. What is your greatest regret?
Mostly any emotional pain or hurt I may have inadvertently, or through poor decision making, have caused other people. And I think there were a couple of situations where I could have stood up for myself more.
34. How would you like to die?
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, rather than screaming in terror like his passengers."
35. What is your motto?
"Not all those who wander are lost."
